I recall a scene from The Cruel Sea. Captain Jack Hawkins and his first officer Donald Sinden meet for a drink, reunited after having their ship blown up beneath them. They ask for gins and a jug of water. When a doddering old waiter brings the order, Hawkins complains that there is a layer of dust on the water.
‘I’m sorry, sir,’ replies the waiter. ‘It’s the war.’
We like our catch-all excuses and easy explanations, don’t we? An unusual amount of cancer in area? Radio masts. Freak weather conditions? Well, it used to be ‘all them rockets they keep sending up. Now it’s climate change.
That reminds me of a conversation at the bar the other week. The barmaid served someone a coke and apologised that the pub had no more ice.
‘Bloody global warming,’ said the customer.
Currently, the ‘credit crunch’, recently upgraded to the ‘credit crash’, is the root of all our ills. Christmas turkeys will be priced out of the reach of ‘hard-working families’ and children will have to do without another flat-screen plasma TV because their parents are in negative equity. No doubt the government has emergency plans for soup kitchens.
A few months ago, pubs were closing because of the smoking ban. Before that it was supermarket offers; before that it was Wetherspoon’s; before that pubco’s. Now it’s the credit crunch, although I have it on good authority that the real culprit is Maggie Thatcher.
‘I’m sorry, sir,’ replies the waiter. ‘It’s the war.’
We like our catch-all excuses and easy explanations, don’t we? An unusual amount of cancer in area? Radio masts. Freak weather conditions? Well, it used to be ‘all them rockets they keep sending up. Now it’s climate change.
That reminds me of a conversation at the bar the other week. The barmaid served someone a coke and apologised that the pub had no more ice.
‘Bloody global warming,’ said the customer.
Currently, the ‘credit crunch’, recently upgraded to the ‘credit crash’, is the root of all our ills. Christmas turkeys will be priced out of the reach of ‘hard-working families’ and children will have to do without another flat-screen plasma TV because their parents are in negative equity. No doubt the government has emergency plans for soup kitchens.
A few months ago, pubs were closing because of the smoking ban. Before that it was supermarket offers; before that it was Wetherspoon’s; before that pubco’s. Now it’s the credit crunch, although I have it on good authority that the real culprit is Maggie Thatcher.
To be continued.
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