I don't recall how I celebrated the New Year last night. This is not because I was drunk, merely asleep. No doubt I dreamt of health, wealth and happiness.
Maybe I dreamt of Mavis too. I often do. Or possibly it was some inferior, but more easily available, substitute.
So, how can I improve myself this year. Out of modesty, I shall keep my plans for improving the lot of others secret
1. Smoking: the most important thing is to work out how to deal with July 1st, when the ban on smoking in public places (ie pubs) takes effect. We are going to need some sort of speakeasy arrangement. Maybe there's money to be made.
Regularise my supply. Check out methods of growing and curing tobacco, which might be possible in Lincolnshire as global warming kicks in.
2. Drinking: I don't see much room for improvement here. I have a decent pub which sells decent beer at decent prices. I don't think I need to increase my consumption. July 1st is a problem. Check out brewing my own.
3. Sex: Please. But don't be tempted to pay for it. Review that rule after one month.
4. Money: Take steps to increase income. I have a couple of stories that might suit Woman's Weekly. I could recast them for Cosmopolitan or Escort if necessary. Failing that, I think I might be reduced to finding a proper job.
5. Writing: move all 'creative' stuff to the RJD blog. Post on it regularly. Write that novel, if only for fun. One film review a week for Will Kane's blog. Finish that long essay on Comanche Station. Implement the birth year essays for relatives. Write more letters rather than e-mails.
6. Health: Walk to the pub more, if it's not raining or not too hot, or if I don't have a book I need to finish on the bus, or if the buses aren't running, or if it doesn't mean walking in the dark, and if I get those walking shoes I've been meaning to buy. Or if there's no y in the day.
7. Sex - oh, I've done that, if memory serves.
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